“Proof of Heaven” is a book by Dr. Eben Alexander, a highly trained academic neurosurgeon who suddenly went into what was, at first, an unexplainable 7 day coma. Just as the family was readying to say good-bye to him, he miraculously revived. The miracle is not just that he revived but that he survived intact, without any damage to the brain.
During those days, as his family sat round the clock at his side, holding his hand 24/7, he was far away in an experience so indescribable, so “beyond the power of words” that relating it was like “trying to write a novel with only half the alphabet”. The message of his Near Death Experience, he said, could be put into three sentences. “You are loved and cherished.” “You have nothing to fear.” “There is nothing you can do wrong.” Summarizing further, he said this could be reduced to one sentence, “You are loved.” And to simplify it still further would be simply one word, “Love”.
As a scientist, he had discounted or just humored his patients when they related stories of NDEs or other “spiritual” experiences. Now, after experiencing an impossible to describe “unconditional love and acceptance” he says that love is the basis of everything and “no remotely accurate understanding of who and what we are can be achieved by anyone who does not know it, and embody it in all of their actions.”
To be sure, the people who have written about their NDEs have all spoken of this all encompassing unconditional love. It changes them. It takes away their fear and fills them with serenity. Those of us without those experiences may have gotten just a sense of this feeling in moments of communion with nature or with another, moments when we are one with, when our filters are down and our hearts are fully open, when we realize that Love is all that matters. It is the only thing that is real in this material third dimensional world of ours, and it is the only path that can really give us solace and peace.
I would like to believe that we all know that Love is all that matters and that all that any one of us really wants is to love and be loved. We find these truths embedded deep in our hearts under the hurt, the grief and the protection. The question is, “What will we do with them?” Will we bury them again or will we slowly allow the truth to come out? The truth that we want to love, that we want to be loved, that, when all is said and done, without Love our money and successes as well as our angers and protections will have meant nothing.
I think that what keeps us from opening our hearts and loving fully is that we don’t know how. We did that as children. We opened our innocent hearts. Some of us got really wounded and those memories live on in our cells. However, they only have power as long as we give them power. If we continue to fear and to protect ourselves, we will not be able to open to Love. We need to become aware of our own filters and protections. All too often, our relationships are between two protected hearts instead of two open hearts. How can we expect to have a loving, expansive, exciting relationship if we don’t love with all our heart? No wonder so many relationships lack vitality.
Yes, our partners push our buttons. That is nature’s way of having us grow if we choose to accept the opportunity; the opportunity to let Love prevail instead of blame, criticism, judgment and anger. Can you find Love, acceptance, gratitude and compassion in your heart? In other words, can you awaken to the beauty of your own heart? Can you find true feeling, vulnerability and Love? Can you share from a clear, open and loving space? Can you open to Love? Can you allow yourself to receive Love?
Life is precious. Don’t cheat yourself by living a protected, jaded life. Look at your partner, see him/her. Open up and share who you really are. Tomorrow comes sooner than we expect. There are two consequences to not opening our hearts: we go into old age hardened and grumpy with only Death waiting for us or we open too late and have to experience the searing pain of regret for the time and opportunities lost. Don’t let that happen. Instead, open your heart to Love:
- Start by loving yourself. Become aware of self-judgment and self-criticism. When it happens, decide in that moment whether or not you choose to entertain those thoughts. Take charge!
- Allow yourself to receive. It is as much a gift to your partner to let in his/her Love as it is for you to give your Love.
- Be in Gratitude. Perform little acts of kindness. All too often we take the most important person in our lives for granted and treat him/her as if we have no energy left for them. Be present. Listen. Share.
- Show your Love. A touch. A word. A hug. A look. It doesn’t take much when it is loaded with Love.
- Have compassion. Last but not least. The balm of life. The salve that soothes all wounds. Have compassion for yourself, for the hurting child inside of you and for the hurting child inside your partner. It works wonders!
The bottom line is that Love is all there is and Love is all that matters!