I thought I’d write about gifts but I wasn’t thinking about the gifts we buy. I was thinking of all the gifts of love that we can give each other every day. From the moment we wake up till we go to sleep we have an abundance of opportunities to express in words or actions the love that we feel for our significant other and the loved ones in our lives. In a less intimate way, our love can extend to anyone who crosses our path, even a stranger, and all it takes is a smile, a kind word or a friendly gesture.
Unfortunately, I believe that most of us are so harried, rushed and stressed that we hit the ground running in the morning and collapse into bed at night. Sometimes, there is little room to pause and share a loving feeling. And without those pauses we sometimes end up living parallel, rather than connected, lives devoid of juice and joy. This makes it easy to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted.
When we take someone for granted, I don’t think we do it on purpose. However, if we are distractedly running around all day we barely have time for ourselves much less time to make a special effort for our loved one(s). In order to keep a relationship alive we need to feed it. Small random acts of love, affection and appreciation take but a pause and go a really long way. Without these, it may seem that we are not paying attention to our partner and that it’s not important to us to show them how we feel about them. While it may not be true, it appears that we think that she or he is there, will always be there and we don’t have to do anything to keep them there. That’s taking the other for granted. It may not be your attitude but without some love pauses, it may be how the other feels.
Is there anything at all more important than love and our giving and receiving it? I truly believe in the power of Love. I believe that Love is what heals us. Love in whatever way it appears. It could show up as a magnificent miracle or a mother’s caress or a doctor’s kind words. It doesn’t matter how it shows up. What matters is what it does. When we feel loved we feel that we matter, that we’re accepted, that we’re lovable. And, whether we are giving a gift of love or receiving it, we are inviting its essence into our soul.
A moment of love is the easiest thing to remember to do and yet the easiest thing to forget to do. I know there are logistics and realities that must be attended to. We can’t ignore our responsibilities and obligations. All of this is true but we must find time to genuinely express our love. Those small out of nowhere moments of love are life enhancing, supportive and encouraging and don’t we all really need that to make our day worthwhile? When we take that last breath, what will have been the most important element of our lives? I doubt it will be the toys, parties, or work! It will, hopefully, be all the love we gave and got. Otherwise, what’s life about? It’s certainly not about the distracted running around we are doing nor all the ever-new diversions constantly pulling our attention away from what is really important.
What I’m offering is that we can achieve some measure of balance if we engage in small gifts of love every day: to kiss your partner or child as they walk by, to put down the device and listen, really listen, to what they have to say, to let them know that we get them and to encourage and support them. How about a few words of acknowledgement, appreciation and affection? They go a long way. How about touch? We all need it. What does it take to caress a child or touch your partner lovingly? How about a hug? These are the wonderful free gifts that require only a pause! These are the gifts that keep on giving.
We all know what pleases our loved ones. We just need to make the time to do it. We need to stay conscious in order to create a moment of love and we need to fill our day with pauses that allow us to express that love. Let’s remember to be conscious that a smile, a kind word, a touch, understanding, compassion and acceptance are all love gifts that cost us nothing and give so much!